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07-Dec-2017 21:39

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Train yourself to acknowledge their behavior without a judgment, such as “You chose to sit the other way on the chair” or “You colored the grass purple instead”.

This gives them the freedom to be creative and discover things without expectations.

Choose whether the other person really needs to know about the issue, and if yes, let the child decide who will tell them.

“Do you choose to tell (Mom) what happened, or choose for me to tell her with you there to make sure that I explain it correctly?

It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.

Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.

Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.

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A kid can sit down on a chair facing the back, and we make them turn around.

You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.

Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.

I will also give the Play Therapy based alternative with a short explanation of why it is more effective.

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Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).

When I think about all of the phrases, anecdotes, and sayings about the power of the spoken word I am reminded of how I changed my way of communicating with children upon learning Play Therapy principles.



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