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Of course, my limited experiences and the experiences of a dozen women on my Facebook page can’t show the full extent to which this problem actually exists in society, but the dates I went on showed me a pretty accurate scale of the rape culture we’re up against.I realized it’s not just a creepy Twitter troll in his mom’s basement holding us back.I’m a tad bit of a traditionalist, so when he suggested we have dinner and not just drinks, I had hope.He made reservations at an upscale BBQ restaurant (I live in NYC, so that’s a thing) and upon meeting him I immediately decided he was cute, nice, and a good conversationalist.Then the topic of work came up, and I told him I was a writer. I took a long sip from my drink, smiling into the glass rim, holding back the verbal whiplash I wanted to impose on him. To many, Chad’s “preference” seems like just that—a preference. He essentially told me to my face that he needed power over his future wife, a slippery-slope of a mindset that feeds into and is a prelude for those who commit sexual assault and harassment.I’d expect this kind of mentality from a Twitter troll, but not from a seemingly cultured adult man. Yet here I was, feeling like a had just stepped on a bomb in Minecraft.And the problem won’t stop until everyone else realizes it, too—and we actually do something about it.
We didn’t message each other for too long before agreeing to meet up for a date, and I traded in my usual pre-screening for the thrill of spontaneity.
It’s up to our society to teach our young men better.
It’s up to men to educate themselves better and open their eyes.
An Indian and an Asian-American friend of mine had such horrendously racist sexualizations thrown their way on dates I can’t even repeat them here.
Men freely and casually expressing such contempt for women in situations where they’re supposed to impress them speaks largely to the problem at hand, and is quite frankly terrifying.“Did you know that 1 in 4 college women will become a victim of sexual assault? Apparently, I’m not the only woman to endure such sexism while dating.